Natalie is a good girl. She grew up in the church and her family is known for their moral standards. She never got involved in the 'bad stuff.' Rather, she went to sleep-overs and birthday parties, church camps and baby showers. Everyone knows Natalie and she is well liked. Her face is always beaming and all the young girls want to sit with her. A great way to describe her is “Pleasant.” But Natalie is engaging in a spiritual battle that she's struggling to win. Here she is approaching her 24th birthday as her priorities begin to shift...
You see, it starts innocently enough. The Pastor may have made a few off color comments from the pulpit. Maybe one of the elders was in too much of a hurry to stop and say “Hi” to her that one time at church thirteen Sundays ago. Whatever it was, Natalie starts to disconnect a little bit. It's here and there, just small, spotty changes. Never would she come out and say “I'm offended at the church and I'm not coming back.” Heavens, no! That's not what a proper girl from a proper family does. And so, she quietly shifts her mentality. Her priorities shift away from the Kingdom of God and onto herself.
And that's what is so dangerous. Did you know it's hard to spot when someone's priorities change? Eventually it becomes blatantly obvious in their behavior, but by then other issues are arising. But discontentment has a way of seeping in to even the most proper lives. As Natalie begins to focus on herself, church becomes either a burden or a luxury. Either way, it can be muscled out of the way by excuses.
This weekend, Natalie had to close Saturday, so she missed youth group. “No big deal,” she assures her self. “I can't be expected to make every function. I DO have a live.” So that weekend she makes it to just one Sunday service. And in all reality, there's nothing inherently wicked about working or having a job, or even missing a youth group service because of it. But this is the beginning of the landslide that is happening in her mind. Her walls are breaking down, and selfishness presses against her heart.
You see, the following Wednesday her boss asks her to stay late because one of her co-workers no-showed. She get's off work at 6:00 pm instead of 5:00. “Youth group starts at 6:00 pm...” she thinks. “By the time I go home and change it will be 6:30 and I won't even get there till 7:00. That means I'll miss the ice-breaker games. Oh well, next week I suppose...”
No longer is the priority the people but rather what Natalie can gain. In this instance, its supported by the long shift she worked. Her mind justifies not going to group late because she sees no value in being a part of the team. Mind you, this isn't necessarily a conscious decision. Most of it will happen subconsciously as her mind reasons and processes her circumstances.
When the weekend comes Natalie arrives at youth group on Saturday at 6:10 pm. She was late because traffic was bad that night.
Now, is there anything wrong with being ten minutes late to an event? Not really. It's certainly no indication of something wrong, on it's own. But Natalie is normally faithful to church. This time she was late because of traffic, or at least that's what she tells her self. But really, she was late because she was planning on being there at 6:00pm instead of 5:30 or 5:45. She didn't expect to go meet new people who arrived early, or save seats for her friends. She didn't assume the greeting team might be short-staffed and thus would need a fill-in. Her plan was to be there at 6:00 which is already pushing it. The event (in this case, youth group) starts at 6:00. She left her house at 5:50, which is barely enough time to get there in great conditions. You see her priorities shifting further away from God and His house, and more onto Natalie.
A couple weeks later there is a death in the family. It wasn't her immediate family. Her mom's closest cousin died, and the family would be expected to attend the funeral. The service would be held on a Saturday afternoon in the neighboring state. Natalie's family will fly out Friday afternoon and come home Sunday to minimize their time off work. Natalie misses all the services that weekend.
“I wish I was at lunch with my friends,” she daydreams Sunday morning. And it is a Sunday for mourning. Her mom is still grieving over the loss of a close friend. However, Natalie is distant, off in some restaurant with her friends in her imagination. She imagines where they'll go that day, and who will sit with who. She muses over her clever matchmaking, and pairs up her girl friends' names with her guy friends' last names. She is very clever indeed.
However, this Sunday was the day her friend Ashley from work was going to come to church with her. Natalie forgot, and left her phone unattended. Unfortunately, Ashley is intimidated by large groups and the lack of a familiar face at church is enough to cause her to call it off. As she leaves, Ashley wonders if she had the directions wrong, or if Natalie even goes to that church consistently.
At this point, Natalie is thinking about the church, but only in the most superficial sense. She can hardly be bothered to remember her friend from work. Nor can she focus on the grieving mother next to her. She offers little comfort to her hurting family, and wastes away the day dreaming about nothing. Her focus is more upon her friends and their trivial luncheon decisions than it is on the lost or the church's health. The “marriage bug” has bitten her and consumes most of her free thoughts. She forgot to pray for her small group that morning. In fact, she didn't pray at all while she was gone. It's not that she didn't want to pray, just life got busy. And that's exactly how excuses operate. Among the busyness of life, God will get muscled out of the way.
It turns out Natalie hasn't been getting much sleep lately. She has recently rekindled her love for hopeless romantic movies. She's been renting them regularly and watching them in her room while her roommates are sleeping. It's not uncommon for her to get to bed past 2:00 am. She goes to work groggy and unproductive. That wednesday youth group is more of a chore. It is in the way of her catching up on sleep. Still, she goes knowing people would wonder why she missed. When the week finally ends, she takes advantage of an open Saturday to catch up on her rest. She lays down about 3:00 pm on Saturday and sleeps. In fact, she sleeps for 4 hours, missing out on Saturday prayer. She completely missed prayer, completely on accident.
Natalie is not the victim of unlucky circumstances. Nay, she is succumbing to excuses that are flooding her life. And I would propose those excuses were always there. She just had the foresight to avoid them. Some circumstances she could control, some she could not. The one's she did control used to take a backseat to God and His church. The one's she couldn't control, like working late to cover a shift, would only be temporary “speed bumps” in her walk with the Lord. The Lord was her priority, and no matter what happened, she would put Him first. Natalie used to think like this: “I'm going to encourage someone today. I'm going to smile as big as I can all day, no matter what. I'm going to get to church early to save a seat for someone new. I'm going to tuck an extra $20 in my purse to give away anonymously to someone. Today is the day the Lord has made. I will rejoice and be glad in it. I will give myself to building the House of God today.”
But as the priorities changed, it became easier and easier to give in to her flesh and self-wants. It was “no big deal” if she missed a service here and there. But the problem with that mentality is “here and there” becomes constant. Church becomes a burden you must put up with, rather than a joy. When you stop seeing God as everything you need, the things of God become cumbersome. They become heavy and arduous, not because they always were, but because you start looking at yourself. I have to be there at 7:30 am this Sunday. I have to do this, I have to give that, etc.
There are a million and one reasons why you shouldn't go to church on any given Sunday. Most of them are worthless, but a few are legitimate. The truth is, excuses are always available for you to buy into. But when God is your focus, they just don't matter. That's all there is to it.
